Went and saw "the Last Exorcism" yesterday. A couple of teen girls sit directly behind me and my lady, Leigh. the lights go down and the trailers start. I see movement out of the corner of my eye and get a slight wiff of cheese. I turn my head slightly and see a foot on the top of the seat to my right, look over at Leigh and notice a foot on the seat next to her. I turn around and tell the girls they should lower their feet as the smell is not pleasant, they put their feet down and apologize. They engage in some light whispering as the trailers play out.
The movie starts and they clam up. For about ten minutes. They chat quietly for about the first third of the movie. one of them asks the other "is that a phone ringing?' at a point when a phone rings in the film. "Is that a baby crying?" when there is a baby crying on the sound track.
At one point they leave, I figure because the movie is too intense for their fragile little minds. Sadly it was because they both had to use the washroom. They return. As they take their seats (directly behind me again) one of them asks the other if the character in the movie is doing something that they are clearly doing. I turn to them and ask them to see if its possible to be quiet for the rest of the movie. Of course this is an impossible task for them. Once the movie is over and the credits are scrolling up the screen they get up and leave. Since its customary for Leigh and I to discuss what we thought of the movie as the credits roll we stay seated finish our discussion and get up to leave. As we get to the bottom of the stair case I notice the two girls are still standing behind the light barrier one of them says "hey jerk" and gives me the finger. the other girl says "thanks for ruining the movie for us!" which I of course respond with "your welcome?"
I'm still not really sure how I ruined the movie for THEM. Especially since the only times I spoke during the movie was to explain to them that polite society tends to frown on people speaking during movies and that I didn't pay for a ticket to hear the amateur radio theatre version of the film as the film was playing . The only explanation I can come up with is that one of the girls was severely mentally retarded and needed the other one to explain everything that was happening on screen ("is that a phone ringing?" "is that guy walking around talking to the other characters?" "can you take me to the washroom?") and my asking them not to speak made it impossible for the one girl to understand the complex patterns of light and dark flashing on the giant screen in front of them. So I guess I am a jerk. Oh, well.
The week previous I saw Piranha 3D, I noticed someone in the front row texting and reading e-mails through out the entire movie, they even needed to switch phones at one point since, I'm guessing, the battery died on the first one they were using. Movies aren't that cheap so I can't figure out why you'd bother paying for a ticket if you don't plan on actually WATCHING the movie. What kind of moron pays $10+ to sit in a dark room with loud noises and giant images playing on a screen just to talk to their friend or read e-mails? don't these people realise there are cafes and parks and stuff like that that are designed specifically so that people have a relatively quite place to conduct conversation?
I just don't get it.
I personally blame it on 3D technology and pop rocks. Never have trusted either as the former seems to deprive on of their inner sense of imagination while the latter is clearly a conspiracy by candy company to turn all tweens into Twilight-loving Scanner assassins... just saying.
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